My financial advisor isn't listening to me

I hired my FA for one thing—to manage my retirement investments. Outside of retirement I have a plan for how I manage my cash flow that fits with my personal lifestyle choices, but I feel my FA wants me to change to fit an investment plan he has picked for me.

We have been saving for retirement about 30 years. One day he called us into his office so he could model our retirement expenses. He asked a number of questions but ignored my answers. Then he came up with a model based on a lavish lifestyle that showed my 30 years of savings would be gone in just one year if I retired early.

I should have fired him on the spot. Apart from not listening to my answers, it’s demoralizing to feel like I have worked a lifetime to support myself for just one year. I felt angry and discouraged.

His plan must have been to convince me to maximize my retirement contributions. I was not ready to do that, and I had told him why. When I was younger I had done that, but got badly burned when my finances went sour and I had no emergency funds—everything I had was locked into an untouchable retirement.

Since then I shifted my finances into six parts:

• Money I need to live today, month-to-month
• A decent rainy-day savings for major purchases or emergencies
• Aggressively paying down all debt, including mortgage debt
• Helping my three children as young adults, buying their first car, providing their college education
• Saving a little in a (matching) 401k
• Enjoying life at middle-age, spending time with family and friends

The last point in particular I am not willing to compromise on. I don’t want a lavish lifestyle but I should be able to travel and enjoy activities. I have minimized personal expenses and nearly eliminated all debt. Today we could live comfortably on $3,000 a month. I am not willing to see my children take on further student loan debt, as I consider 5% interest rates criminal for an investment in our future.

We are not maximizing our tax-deferred contributions today. We did when much younger, but accumulated debt in doing so, and became “house poor”. I’ve learned from our mistakes.And there’s no shame in paying taxes. Part of the point of increasing retirement contributions is to lower my tax burden, I get it. But unless I am also debt free I am losing the game—I would lose far more to interest payments than I would ever pay in taxes.

I need to find a financial advisor who is on board with my plan and will work to maximize the return on my retirement investments and my savings funds. I lack the time to figure this all out for myself. But I don’t need an FA who is set on changing my ideals.

I had one guy INSIST that I buy a costly Variable Life insurance policy. “Don’t read the prospectus! TRUST ME!” Sorry. “We’re not leaving until you sign!” Okay well you may want to order a pizza, because it’s gonna be a looooooooooong wait!

Another time I met with reps from a major financial firm who asked how my investments had been doing. “For the past ten years my compound returns have been 27%.” (That is, my portfolio was up 10x over ten years.)

This upset then tremendously, like I had just told them I kidnapped babies to use as firewood. “Well, THAT’s totally unsuitable!”Well, what do YOU recommend? “We have a program that will deliver 7% a year. But no promises!” (Perhaps double over ten years.) Okay! We’re done here!

A few years ago, I was competing for a client’s business. I was one of two other advisors who were being interviewed, and I gave my traditional spiel. It turns out that one of the guys I was up against had guaranteed to the potential client that he could make 12% in the stock market.

Now, keep in mind that this was not before 2023, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. The advisor was using basic mutual funds and still had the audacity to claim to my client that he could net him a guaranteed 12% return.

I was in shock.

Lesson Learned: If you ever come across any type of advisor that guarantees you any rate of return, and isn’t quoting you a fixed annuity, a CD, or some type of insured bond – don’t fall for it. It’s too good to be true. Get out of their office fast.